was on a Zoom call in a sunny conference room and I had a flash of glare in my left eye. I assumed it was the dappled sun streaming through the window. As I gathered up my computer, phone, notebook and pens to go back to my office, it happened again and I thought it odd. But not odd enough to stop and think about it.

About two hours later, I really started to notice it but was too busy to pause. I came home from work, had dinner and had a hard time ignoring it. I thought maybe it was an ocular migraine (another unpleasant event that happened once in my life) but again, I just wanted sleep, so I went to bed early. But when I woke early at 11 p.m., it was worse than ever. I texted my eye doctor, who is a longtime friend: “Are you up?” He called back seconds later. “What is going on?”

From my description, he surmised it was a posterior vitreous detachment and told me to text him if it was still there in the morning, because then I had to be seen. It was still there, and I did what 99.9 percent of us do: I Googled it.

“Posterior vitreous detachment, or PVD for short, is a vitreous-related disease that is commonly associated with old age.”

What the what? OLD? Who are you calling OLD!? Did I not just return from a vacation to Disney World? Hey, I know what “delulu,” “rizz” and “sus” are! I have tickets to see Linkin Park, for the love. After a visit to my doctor friend, he more gently said: “It is a condition that comes with experience … and also, significant near-sightedness.” I’ve been near-sighted to Coke bottle degrees since I was 6. Oh boy.

The exam checked out otherwise OK and this eyeball is just going to give me some grief for a few weeks, but eventually, I will get used to it, at least until the other eye decides to do the same.

I will NOT, however, get used to being called OLD.

At my “advanced” age, I am happy to have the medical knowledge of David Terkel, the new chief of Medical Rescue Team South Authority, at our service. Like me, he is experienced! Please read Merle Jantz’s profile on him. Truth is, no matter our age, we all need good emergency medical services.

No cap.