I sense a presence. He’s watching me while I sleep. Each time I slip back into my dreamscape he advances a few inches closer to my face.

My eyes crack open to a furry form looming in my vision. It’s Neco the cat and he’s hungry. He hops off the bed and takes station at the alarm clock’s cord. I hear his Dracula sharp teeth saw at the power supply. Before I can stop his sabotage, the cord is severed and the clock face voids of time.

Too tired to fight, I scrape my body out of bed and shuffle like the undead towards the food bowl. Neco keeps in tow. He wraps his body around my legs hoping he’ll trip me up and the bag of cat food will explode like a piñata.

It’s 9 a.m. Time for Neco to hold post on the window seat so he can take in his favorite reality show, A Bird’s Life. His tail swishes and teeth chatter, hungry for the feast. His dream meal pecks away at sunflower seeds on the safe side of the glass.

Neco can’t resist the temptation. He unsheathes a paw full of claws and swats at the screen. Slashes appear down the middle of the screen but the cat is no closer to a feast.

The tabby surrenders and decides to try to kill the dog… for sport. His plump body waddles up the stairs and he retrieves a plastic toy mouse… a death capsule. Neco grabs the toy and carries it to the dog’s crate. I walk into the room and catch him in the act. I can read his mind. “The perfect plot,” he thinks. “Leave it just outside the cage door and the dog is as good as gone.”

The conniving feline then perches himself on top of the cat condo for a viewing party of the dog’s demise.

Neco forgets that I’ve been living with him for two years and I’m on to him. I snatch up the planted lure and pitch it before the dog can gobble it up. I thwarted the tabby’s diabolical plot.

Since he is a cat, he decides to nap. There’s no resisting a snooze in the sunlight. Daylight creeps in the bow window just between the partially closed blue curtains. Neco stretches out, draws in a deep breath, and rests.

I plop down on the couch and watch my somewhat neurotic roommate, the cat. Neco sure provides an endless source of humor. If I can survive him.